Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Air Travel

Hello World! Guess who’s back after a llllllong period of hibernation :) And what motivates me to scribble something after so long? I’m on a plane from Delhi to Bangalore. Let me paint the picture in case you haven’t figured out what I’m going through. A 150 minute flight, cramped seats with virtually no ‘leg room’, no internet (damn!), no movies on my laptop, no ‘in-flight entertainment’ (budget airlines rock!).

Come on, life ain’t all that bad – the seat next to me is empty, so I can stretch a little (thank God for small mercies). Above all, I’ve got Microsoft Word . Yeah Baby!

So here’s a list of some observations about air travel that make me go “Hmmmmmm”:

1) You are ‘supposed’ to keep your cell phones off while you’re in the plane. Cell phones are not dangerous enough to be confiscated. Unlike cell phones, knives are not allowed on the plane (ofcourse, with a polite warning about refraining from using them). Conclusion: President of the ‘knives’ club’ can sue airlines for discrimination
2) Some people use flying time to do ‘office work’. Some people peep into other peoples’ laptops while they’re doing their ‘office work’. Some people watch movies. Some people watch other people watch movies. I’m pretty sure I’m the only ‘sky-blogger’ around. Conclusion: Microsoft Word scores heavily over PowerPoint, Excel or any media player :)

3) I’ve given up on any of the following happening to me while on a plane:

a. A pretty girl sitting next to me
b. A non-male sitting next to me!
c. Getting a genuine smile from a hostess
d. Willingness to believe that there’s such a thing as the mile high club (as a result of a, b and c!)
e. Getting a decent meal
f. My check-in luggage showing up first on the conveyer belt, after landing
g. Airlines being apologetic about 15 minute delays
h. Not snorting while watching the hilarious live ‘safety demo’ being provided by the cabin crew
i. The battery of my laptop lasting the full duration of the flight :)

Conclusion: Air travel is not all that bad! At least not half as bad as this post. After plummeting to these new depths, the results of my future attempts at any form of literature (basically blogging) are expected to go in only one direction – skywards! Cheers to air travel!

I really hope to keep posting stuff more regularly henceforth!

3 comments:

Practical Preacher said...

Welcome back Wank!

I agree with you on the stuff that wont happen to us. I gave up a long time ago.
Another thing you can add to the list is 'Airlines giving you the real reasons for flights being delayed'. Instead of telling us that the flight is late due to late arrival of the incoming aircraft. Which is akin to saying that the flight is late.. because it is late!
Anyway, keep blogging.

Unknown said...

LOL.
Switching off cellphones is actually therapeutic !!
I cant help but notice the liberal use of quotes - whats life without irony huh!
Btw, I could help with pt 2, item (a) if I were gifted a ticket to Greece ;-) !!
Keep writing...

Sangeetha Kodithala said...

I somehow always end up sitting next to mota uncles and never have enough space to rest my hands on the hand-rest :'(